Who I Am

I had to write a paper that answers the question "Who am I? It was fun to write and you'll tell me if it was fun to read.

There are many possible answers to the question: “Who am I? I find it easiest to answer the questions in descending order based on the amount of strong feelings associated with each subject. The list looks like this:

First of all, I am a child of God.

Second of all, I am woman.

Third, I am a mother.

Fourth, a wife.

Fifth, an American.

Sixth, white.

I have been brought up in my family’s home, from the beginning, to believe that my Heavenly Father loves me, wants the best for me and will help me when I need it if I am obedient and humble. Because I believe this about myself, I believe it about others also. That’s the beauty of our Heavenly Father, He loves all of us equally and wants me to love others equally too. So, the biggest part of who I am is my strong religious belief that compels me to treat others as I would like to be treated and to care for others as much as my Heavenly Father cares for me. These foundational beliefs are my biggest cultural motivator and make it easy to answer the question of who I am.

I am the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter and there is nothing I can’t do. My very strong mother taught me by example that women are smart, strong, interesting, organized, funny, nurturing, competent, and accomplished. I never felt less being a girl instead of a boy. I never felt like there were things that were off-limits to me as a woman. I always felt that women could do whatever they wanted to do and I have a hard time understanding or enjoying the company of men or women who feel differently. Women who are not taught this powerful idea of womanhood from the beginning have a hard time overcoming their deep-seated beliefs that they are not as good or not as valuable as the men in their lives, and it is crippling. It should be enough to answer the question of who you are by saying, “I am a woman.”

As I became a mother, I understood how important my role was to my children. My thoughts, feelings and responses had to be weighed against what was best for my children, not always for me. Culturally, I felt it was important to continue our family’s strong religious convictions while at the same time building each child up to try and be their best self and to be kind and tolerant of others. A hasty, judgmental remark was no longer an innocent one, small ears were listening and taking every word in. My children grew up in a different world than I did and their perceptions of race and culture are different than mine. They are more tolerant and better at overlooking differences. But, I attribute some of the improvement in their cultural tolerance to my diligence as a mother. My children are a joy to me and help me answer the big questions of self-analysis.

I probably should have put my husband higher on the list but I don’t think he would expect me to. That is how selfless and kind he is. It was easy for me to become the real me because I was given the freedom, love and support to do so. If I wanted to pursue schooling or a hobby or an interest that took me out of the home, he was there to change diapers and make dinner. If I was worried or concerned, he was there to discuss, advise and assist. Every relationship is based on having expectations of your partner. I have plenty of expectations of my husband and sure, my husband has expectations of my role as a wife, but they match my own so it is not a burden. Mostly, being a wife is a joy and has allowed me to include that description of myself as part of the answer to who I am.

I have a great love for my country and oftentimes get very emotional when I hear someone criticize or denigrate America. America is not perfect, but it is still the best, most free, most opportunity-filled country in the world. I also believe that our country is divinely chosen and protected and that we, as citizens, have a responsibility to rise to the occasion and do our best in order to make this country run as efficiently as possible. I take my job as a good citizen very seriously and feel that the best thing I can do for my country is raise smart, responsible, functioning adult children who will help to continue to build the country and keep it strong. I can’t see a waving flag or a man or woman in uniform with getting a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. Who am I? I’m an American.

Maybe it’s because I am a member of the majority but I never really thought much about the fact that I was white. I just was. I’m white, she is brown, he is black, that’s just the way it is. I understand that my attitude could be construed as naïve but when I considered it, my earlier opinion, that we are all God’s children, really supercedes any of the race, color, ethnicity or religious concerns. So, although I am white, I am not only white, I am many other things that are more influential to me when I answer the question of who I am.

I have had a lot of years and a lot of practice answering the question of who I am and I am glad to have the chance to write it down. It is a good exercise in self-analysis to decide where I stand, what my priorities are, what motivates me and how I want to interact with the world. Hopefully my actions can mirror my beliefs, that would make me a person of integrity and that characteristic is, thankfully, another important part of who I am.