A Senti"mental" Fool

Emphasis on the "mental."



I don't know why I have such a great memory for some things but can't remember other details at all.

For example, all I had to do was look at a picture of Nick and Casey Rushton the other day on their blog and a thousand memories and feelings flew through my head and heart and I was almost overcome with emotion. Sitting right here at my little desk, I practically started crying like a baby. I was wishing I could see those boys again. I remember talking to Nick about the future, he was always so interested in it, and watching Casey play baseball with Brad and basketball at Peninsula and nudging him awake at early morning Seminary.

Casey was a pretty good sport about that whole early morning thing. (He hated it!) I remember that my first week into teaching the Junior Class that year, I made a goal that I would teach an interesting and fun lesson every day and that I would know I was successful if I could make Casey smile at least one time every morning. I did a pretty good job. When I got in the car to drive the girls to school after teaching they would ask me how my class went and I would say, "I got Casey to smile today, so that's good." Thank you Casey for making my teaching job more fun and challenging.

One day I was substituting in Sunday School for the older kids and we were talking about marriage (Nick's favorite subject), and he asked me, "Is there one person who you are supposed to marry, one person in the whole world that you are promised to?" I answered, "Doctrinally, no, but after you have made your choice and marry the right person for you, I hope you go to bed every night and say, 'I picked the right person. I couldn't have married anyone else and been this happy.'" I think Nick says that every night.

I remember these random memories but can't remember to take the trash out on Tuesdays or to send my mom a birthday card or to pay a bill.

I think this is what happens to old ladies and the moral of the story is this: Life is really more about relationships, feelings and memories than jobs, tasks and lists. So, spend time on the important things like loving and helping people and try to get the other things done if you can fit them in.

Old Lady Joins New Age

Somedays I feel really old. Like on days when I have to go up and down stairs, even more than one time. It is really amazing to me that my body, the thing I have been taking care of, feeding, clothing, brushing, rubbing...etc....this thing that I have devoted so much time and attention to, is now just abandoning me. My muscles don't listen to me anymore. They won't help me off the couch or out of a chair. My memory doesn't need me; it will go where it wants and do what it wants without my permission. My hair now has a mind of its own. As do my abdominal muscles.

Interestingly, at exactly the same moment in time that my body is abandoning me, so are my children. The children that I have taken care of, fed, clothed, brushed and rubbed for the last 25 years.

Megan, my youngest, is going off to college in the next few weeks. Kevin will be home from his mission in a couple of months but he left me two years ago and will only be home as a visitor from here on out. My big girl Lorraine is a mommy now and hardly needs me at all. She is so accomplished and grown-up, all the way in O-town. And my grown-up boy Brad is the best daddy in the world, making his own way with his little family.

So, the crappy/great thing about motherhood is that if you have done your job correctly, all of your children leave you and you are out of a job. Like my muscles, my children don't really listen to me any more, why should they? I can't tell them anything they don't already know. Like my memory, they don't need me, they will go and do whatever they want without my permission. And, like my hair, they all have minds of their own. Strong willed, super-smart minds that I couldn't be prouder of.

So, good for them and good for me. This old lady is ready to move on into the fabulous future, a new age. I will work on keeping my body and my family together, enjoying both of them as the years progress. Hurray for me!